I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize