I could have mohawked her pubes.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
