I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
