were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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