I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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