yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
