So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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