lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
