shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
