omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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