her vagine was all disorganized.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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