I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
