There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
