I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
