They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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