I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
