My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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