"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
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