I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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