Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
