2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
