So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's no shave November. This is our time.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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