pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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