Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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