Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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