Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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