so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
