I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize