I cockslap morals
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize