I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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