i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
