yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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