So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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