I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
