Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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