So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize