Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
