Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
