This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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