Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
is wine microwaveable?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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