East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize