New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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