So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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