I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
