where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
