You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
