12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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