dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
