that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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