I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Sorry my hands just texted you
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
