what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
