How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
