Your mouth is God's brothel.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
