I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
