I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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