good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
