At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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