Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
