Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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